I am currently on holiday in Finland, spending time in my childhood areas and with my family.
I had a quiet moment in the day today to do the trauma release exercises, which felt good. Felt like my body really needed it, since I haven't done the TRE exercises for a long time. I felt a little anxious before and the trauma release exercises helped.
I stayed in the standing position longer than usual, where the back is slightly bent backwards and hands on the waist, head positioned to look straight forward. I took 10 breaths looking forward, 10 turning my head to the right, 10 turning it to the left, then repeated the whole series, and then another 10 looking forward. This is much more than what David Berceli calls for in the book. But the tremors in the upper body, neck and head felt good so I thought it was fine to continue a bit longer. My stomach was also tremoring in this position.
During the last exercise, lying down on my back, I got tremors in the lower back as usual, deep, fast tremors that feel like they originate in the spine. My stomach muscles tense and my spine arches forward and starts tremoring in this position. Now I even felt my head lifting a little bit so I lifted my head up more, so that my chin was close to my chest. This helped spread the tremors from the spine into my upper back, neck and head. The tremors then alternated between deep spine tremors and more relaxed leg, hip and shoulder tremors.
After the exercises I felt very good, though the chest still feels a bit heavy but I also felt some of the chest, throat and neck area tension release. I will still need to do more but at least the tremors have moved on again now, it feels. Some progress.
[Update: The Chinese Doctor says that where air goes, energy follows.]
Sometimes I get quite tired after the trauma release exercises, however, like today... I had to take a nap.
I have also noticed recently that if I talk about hurtful topics from the past, I start tremoring if I let myself. These tremors/ shakes are always easy to stop but the key is to be able to let oneself release this energy whenever possible.
[Update: I have also noticed afterwards that almost every time I see someone talk about a traffic accident or a robbery they experienced in the past, they start acting more tense than usual and even a little shaky. I think I have learned to recognise trauma in other people from experiencing this in myself.]
I feel that the trauma release exercises are very useful for me, and a very important tool to get to know myself better and to feel at peace and let go of negative habits and thoughts, as well as limiting beliefs and behaviours.
23rd November 2013, Day 27
Long time since I did these last time. Somehow this kind of cyclical way of doing things feels natural and beneficial, however. As if the gap in the exercises would allow the body and spirit to adjust, process, and complete the work triggered by the exercises.
I felt good, more clear and central after the trauma release exercises, as usual. I feel more calm. They don't wake you up as such as I felt a bit drowsy before and still feel that way. But they balance your energies, somehow, it seems. Also I get the same feeling where my surroundings seem a bit brighter, as I've got before from doing different (vibration-raising) things. I think this is my personal experience of vibrating at a little higher frequency than usual. (Your experience of this might be entirely different.)
Tremors were similar to before, with some very 'fine', small but fast tremors appearing at the lower back and thighs.
I can feel the TRE are a powerful and very beneficial to me and I want to make (a short version of) them a part of my morning or evening ritual everyday. They make me feel good so they enhance the quality of my life. And if deep trauma gets released at the same time - good. However, I can't say from my own experience whether this happens or not.
Yoga affects inner organs through stretching, alignment, energies and breath, whereas exercise in general improves oxygen intake and gets energies moving, as well as both of these obviously strengthening the muscles to hold everything in the body in right places. TRE, I feel, achieves many of these same benefits but differently. The shaking must move energies, lymph, etc., and deep breathing can be combined to these exercises quite easily... TRE to complement yoga and exercise, however, not to replace (!), as all these are differently effective.
The body's and mind's process of change and healing is a gradual and gentle process, and it is also like peeling the layers of an onion. I now have more patience for the process than I did before. Before I was yo-yoing between extreme diets and fairly unhealthy living - and wanted to see what would happen in a month, a week, two weeks, three months, etc. and I did get many good results in a short time - which you can read about on the diaries on this website - but I got impatient as not everything got healed in these short trials. And because the lifestyle and diet changes I did were so extreme, I would always end up falling back to not-very-healthy lifestyles.
So now I am sticking to a very gradual process of self-improvement, with a view of taking small steps and making them permanent life changes.
I have been going to a Chinese Doctor, who does acupuncture, a little massage, and gives me dietary advice and herbs.
I am trying to do less left-brain stuff because I love learning, reading, listening to lectures, etc. and with the website writing and doing architecture for living, there naturally seems to be very little time for the right brain. This puts the nervous system out of balance.
So now I try to stay away from the computer at weekends and to do self-reflection, meditation, walks/ running outdoors, guided relaxation, cooking, etc. during the weekends instead. I am planning to spend plenty of time on inspiring/ creative projects and self-coaching, where I write about my aspirations and dreams and make overcoming life challenges into theoretical projects - to be put to practice once I've made each thought/ plan clear on paper first. This is my process of living my life much better, nurturing my subconscious mind, learning to enjoy life without spending much money or drinking alcohol. I feel these are true enjoyments I have been missing out on for a very long time. I have now learned to appreciate them as doing them makes me feel good and balanced and it's inspiring and good for the energies/ spirit.
(Also there was one time I did the TRE which I didn't record here - day 28.)
Day 29, 8th February 2014, Saturday
Three months later...
I haven't forgotten about trauma release! I still love it. I've just been preoccupied with other things, like diet. My latest diet experiment was the low-carb caveman diet, and I have also been seeing the Traditional Chinese Doctor, and written a report here.
Today the trauma release shakes were as usual, apart from the fact that I got face movements! The muscles around my eyes would contract and around my nose. I was rhythmically making funny faces. Weird. Probably very good muscle exercise and release though! Even if there was no trauma release involved I think these exercises would be worthwhile for the massage and muscle work they achieve. Even the inner organs get a massage and the Chi energy surely gets good movement.
Again, I do believe that there is some clear energy aspect to these exercises, which is probably trauma and anxiety releasing, and if you suffer from PTSD, anxiety, stress, etc. I would suggest you try these... and also see the testimonials on You Tube, and read Waking Tiger. The reason I believe that the exercises do something good on a mental and energy level is because I feel so calm after doing the exercises. And today I also thought I could feel energy movements in my body while doing the exercises.
9th February 2014
Last day of trauma release exercises was quite typical, similar tremors as usual, quite powerful, but I could again feel the 'anxious, nervous energy' move to the top of my chest and arms first, before they started shaking. This was interesting.
I went running this morning and afterwards as I was lying on the floor, the hand I hurt last week when I was trying to run for the train and fell over, started shaking. Then the tremors spread to my shoulders. This was another example of the tremors starting spontaneously, without doing the TRE exercises.
I couldn't do two of the exercises today because I have had slight backache so I have to be careful with it. I left out the exercise where you lean forward, as well as the one where you prop your hands on the floor.
I will continue with the exercises but recognise that the main reason I stopped doing them was because they took too much time. So from now on I will mostly just do the last 20-minute exercise on its own, or in combination with the 5 min 'horse stance' exercise. I won't write regular updates here but whenever I get new realizations/ progress, I will write an update.
In conclusion, these exercises make me feel very good, and it does seem that they release stress and provoke some kind of reflective understanding of past problems weighing on the mind, to allow them to have less hold on the mind. The benefits seem to become clearer over time and also the tremors may not work in the beginning. I think 30-days is a good length of time to experiment with the exercises to understand their full power. The rest of the conclusions I have made from this experiment are sprinkled in the diary text.
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